I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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