I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
