Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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