erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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