So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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