College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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