Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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