You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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