I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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