Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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