he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just found a bag of teeth...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
