And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
