Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
