i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
