My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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