He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
