i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
