Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
