Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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