Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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