Sponge bath it is.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
nutella sex= disaster
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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