worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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