He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
