i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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