I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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