people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
