Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
