If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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