therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
