Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
