R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
