I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
