His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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