Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
