do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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