Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
