return my video game
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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