You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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