I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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