I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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