Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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