I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Alive.
So much puke
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
