Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
