The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
