Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
