idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
