Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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