Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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