Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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