I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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