We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
