your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
